Grandma loves a bargain. She was very excited when Lindsay took her to the Dollar Store in Colorado. Why do people think that crap for a dollar is a good deal?

Anyway, I saw these "Magnetic Alphabets" and I was going to pay a dollar for them, just to prove to people that I found something mislabled or mis-appropriated. I'm glad I had my camera in my purse. I saved a dollar by leaving this at the Dollar Store and walked away with all the laughs. Maybe these magenetic "Alphabets" are like "Genuine" gold and "Genuine" diamonds. They are "Alphabets" simply because they are labled as such.

Grandma is a good sport. She doesn't realize what she is holding or how utterly entertaining it is for us. It reminds me of the time we asked her to say "Hit's from the Bong".

Grandma is deaf when she wants to be deaf, but she picks up on little things and runs with it. For example, I was driving my sisters and grandma to a family party in my grandfathers 1979 Buick Century about ten years ago. The stero was on and Cypres Hill's song "Hits from the Bong". Grandma heard the part when someone says in a very dazed voice "I cannot get up."

Out of nowhere she starts talking about a slip and fall she had in Chinatown and how she couldn't get up. She said "I cannot get up" just as it played over the stereo.

Anyway, we got grandma to sing along a bit in her Chinese accent.

Hits from the bong
Hits from the bong
Hits from the bong
Hits from the bong

Pick it, pack it, Fire it up, Come along,
And take a hit from the bong,
ut the blunt down just for a second, Don't get me wrong it's not a new method,
Inhale, Exhale, Just got a ounce in the mail,
I like a blunt or a big fat bowl, But my double barrel bong is gettin' me stoned,
I'm skill it, There's water inside don't spill it, It smells like shit on the carpet, Still it, goes down smooth when I get a clean hit, Of the skunky funky smelly green shit,
Sing my song, puff all night long, As I take Hits from the bong...

Hits from the bong y'all Gonna get high,
Hits from the bong Gonna get high,
Hits from the bong Gonna get high,
Hits from the bong

Let's smoke that bowl, hit the bong,
And then take that finger off of that hole, Plug it, unplug it, Don't straaaain,
I love you Mary Jane,
She never complains,
when I hit Mary, With that flame, I light up the cherry,
She's so good to me,
when I pack a fresh bowl I clean the screen,
Don't get me stirred up the smoke, through the bub-bling water, Is Makin' it pure so I got ta', take my hit and hold it,
Just like Chong,
hit the bowl and I reload it, Get my four-footer and bring it on...
As I take Hits from the bong,

Being that we were cracking up and rolling around in the Buick, she stopped.

On being needed

About ten years ago I built a bird feeder, painted it and named it the Suisse Chalet after an ice cream parlor in Berlin. Then I hung it up in my grandparents garden and started feeding the birds every morning. We had several dozen finches, a couple of doves and some sparrows.
When I left for law school, I figured the birds would stop coming around because no one else cared to feed them.

My grandparents still feed the birds to this day.

In the morning, as soon as someone turns on the kitchen light, the birds fly by the window until someone feeds them. Grandma was complaining about having to feed the birds last night, but I think secretly she likes it. She has assigned the duty to my dad and his wife for the next several days while they are visiting my and my sister.

I think everyone should wake up in the morning and feel like they are needed.

Mermaid

Sometimes, I feel like a mermaid.